3 years later….

Wow.  Talk about time machine.   This blog was started 3 years ago with the intention of putting into words what my crazy life entails.  It seems like just yesterday I put this blog into motion.

My whole point of this blog was to entail the atrocities, adventures, high points, low points, but mostly just plain gettin’ real with it, ya know?  Somehow I instinctively knew my life was about to get a little crazy.

On my 30th birthday (last blog)….something broke.  Something broke free, in ME.  (it seems so weird to put this down 3 years later….I just had my 33rd birthday).  It was the literal start of my next grand adventure.  Not being so grand in the beginning, I unfortunately went through a separation which then led to divorce.  I was incredibly sad, depressed, and ashamed.  Alas, with life there seems to always be ups and downs and you better be ready for that roller coaster, because there is no getting off.

The upcoming year brought me to several hospital visits, terrifying moments with my very sick daughter, depression, anxiety, A LOT of alcohol, my son having terrible behavioral issues, weak moments, and man oh man the list goes on.  (We CAN be real here, right?  if not just leave the blog…please.)  What’s funny is….that friend that I appreciated so much in my earlier blog and who I took advice from for my garden was slowly gaining my heart.  My heart was slowly being warmed again after a long frigid winter.  My kids started smiling, we started going on adventures here and there, and then everyday turned into an adventure.

The year after the frigid, scary, frightening storm was simmering down,  The roller coaster was actually becoming a little bit fun, and the independence I was gaining was life changing.  Right before my eyes, my kids became hero’s and life changing little humans. God had shown me multiple times that He was not trying to hurt me, but make everything new again.  My old self had to die in order to grow into this beautiful, confident, intricate piece of art.  Now, I am not trying to make myself more then what I am….because let me tell you in between all of those harsh and good times I made more mistakes then I ever had….not because I am a horrible immoral person, but because I was able to with the grace and mercy of our unfailing God.

Now, in this year….I am working full time at a job that I love dearly.  I am in love with a man that usually kisses me with the taste of Copenhagen and beer on his breath (but I love it), my kids are well rounded, healthy, and all in all good kids.  Our garden is even BIGGER and fruitful……and most of all:  I AM BLISSFULLY HAPPY.  My adventure has been grand and is still in full swing.  My ex husband comes over to chat and drink a beer, and I just got to meet his beautiful new girlfriend.

Now that we got that out of the way….I can share the best pieces of me…for REALS!!  I’ll be sharing what Nick and I like to create (a planter box out of a box spring?), (a burn barrel that could heat a home or be used to smoke meat for jerky?) I mean…he usually creates all this stuff, but I have the blog 🙂

We’re also getting married….on our farm….it’s perfect, right?  I’ll make sure to share!

Toiling that soil!

My best friend just started germinating his garden and it gave me an extremely good amount of motivation to start mine, (thanks Nick!).   My mom has always had a garden from the time I can remember, but unfortunately I didn’t start my green thumb abilities until I was about 27 years old.

I can’t describe how fulfilling it is to have a garden.  I mean, it’s like having your own little farm fresh market right outside your door.  An added plus is that you know exactly what goes into the ground and then right into your mouth!  Also, you’re feeding your family for a whole lot cheaper than taking a drive down to the store and picking up some chemically altered veggies and fruits.

I think teaching our children the meaning of growing our own food is extremely crucial as well in this generation. Everything is so obtainable and let’s face it, some humans have forgotten the wonder and miraculous enjoyment of watching something grow from nothing.  We all get stuck in the monotonous movement of everyday life, I am so guilty of this.  Soooo, my solution to that is to get back to the basics and get mine and my kids hands a little dirty, do a little back-breaking work, and watch their faces glow in amazement when they’re little seedlings start to grow and then feed their bellies.

This is just the beginning.  I plan on having a glorious beautiful garden by the middle of summer!  I will check back in with you and update how it’s going.

Also, if you’re bad at remembering to water your garden, my friend also found a really cool site using the crystals in diapers to make a super absorbent hydro soil!  I’ll include that at the bottom if ya’ll are interested.  Let me know how this works for your garden!!

lifehacker.com/make-super-soil-for…from-diapers-1452342086

I think I’m onto somethin’ good…..

The number 30 terrified me for a long time…..I was waiting for that birthday with panic and anxiety.  Honestly, I didn’t even want to admit it was coming.  Oh, I know it sounds a little melodramatic but please, hear me out!

I kept thinking, “half of my adult life is completely over, and I haven’t even accomplished 1/4 of the goals I set for myself!”  I wanted a career and to be an independent woman.  I wanted to be a soccer mom and dance mom and whatever else mom I could be.  I wanted to be skinny and fit.  My Cubs are 7, and 4 and I’m not really any of those things, but you know what I realized?  I’ve been a mom for 7 of my 30 years, and what a blessing that is.  I’m not gonna lie mama’s and daddy’s out there I know you feel me, sometimes moments are blessings in disguise.  You know, those times when you just want to go to a dark, dark room and not come out for a day or two?  Those moments when you want to yell and scream and you forget your kids’ names and get even more mad because you don’t even that know what kid you’re talking to anymore?  Yeah, those moments are blessings too though.  Because when you see your kid going through all those milestones and your heart is so big it could burst with pride, and you realize you couldn’t imagine your life without them…..love is all you need at that moment.

Some have said that I settled.  Some have said I should have waited until I was established and independent.  I don’t regret being a mom for one day.  Through the dark times these little diamonds keep shining and lighting my way.  I may be 30 and may not have all the things I wanted to accomplish under my belt, but I do know one thing….I know that I know that I know I was meant to be and accomplished one of the greatest things in life, and that is to be a parent.

I’m starting an adventure!  I am going to blog about my everyday trials and tests with these crazy kiddos and starting my career.  I am going to post about my real crazy life.  One thing I hate about our society is how everyone is trying to be so perfect.  So maybe some of you will feel better about the transparency and real life situations I will deal with in the coming months and years.

I’m also new to the blogging experience so please be patient!  Goodnight y’all and I’ll post soon about the next crazy moment in my crazy imperfect life.